Monday, 10 June 2013

The Ugly Truth (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, #5) by Jeff Kinney

If you loved+liked this book a lot, please do not torture and upset yourself by reading this review. You liked it, fine, but I didn't like this book so obviously I'm gonna rant— no, say some unpleasant stuff— about it. If you insist on reading this review even though you liked the book, I can't stop you. Just don't get pissed off at me and write all sorts of offensive comments. I'm warning you now.

I read this book 'cause my little brother found it hilarious. I happen to quite like humorous stories (oh come on, who doesn't?) so I decided to give it a shot.

Bad choice. From the first paragraph, I already started fuming. 

'It's been almost two and a half weeks sice me and my ex-best friend, Rowley Jefferson, had our big fight. To be honest with you, I thought he would've come crawling back to me by now, but for some reason that hasn't happened.'

Of course it hasn't happened! What do you think he is?! Your personalized crawling toy spider? OF. COURSE. NOT. Why don't you crawl to him instead, loser boy? Too chickenshit, that's why.

So after reading that paragraph, I told myself to chill. It couldn't be that bad, right?

As I read on, I find that all the characters lack of simple common sense. Like there was once when Rodrick put the roast beef WITH the plastic wrap into the oven. So when they took it out, their father went, 'Why is this beef shiny?' And what was the reason the author gave? That Rodrick had forgotten to take of the plastic wrap. FORGOTTEN to take of the plastic wrap?!?!?!?! That thing is just so ridiculously freaking obvious that I didn't believe he could have forgotten to do so. 

So what did I tell myself?

That's right. Never mind. Chill. It can't be that bad right? 

So I continued.

But unfortunately so, I got myself more and more pissed off with each page. Guys, what's so hilarious about this book? I haven't freaking laughed since the first page! 

I fervently wish that I could quote all the dumb things ALL the characters in the book does but I'll be, in fact, quoting the whole book. That's how horrible it is. You may think it's amusing but I. DO. NOT.

At page 120+, I was already wondering how I managed to survive the book that far. 

Because the characters are just freaking intolerable. 


1. They lack of common sense
2. Are dumb
3. Purely disgusting. Dirty toilet jokes are so not freaking funny. Any jokes about asses, farts, poop, pee and so on are JUST NOT FUNNY. 
4. MC's arrogant
5. And whiny. What? He whines. How could you not notice?
6. And lazy. He's suppose to do some laundry but since he has a 'maid', he thinks he doesnt have to do it. So he pushes the responsibility to his 'maid' to do. VERY predictably, the 'maid' somehow ended up not doing the house work and instead, sit in front of the TV and watch it for practically the whole day. The laundry? Greg has to do it in the end, of course. I'm like, ha ha. Sucker. Losers like you deserve it.
7. MC's a wimp. I should've put this as the first. Anyway, it is already on the cover. The MC practically screamed to the world that he's a wimp. And you know what? It couldn't have been more right.
8. They like to overeact. Greg climbs through the drainage pipe just to avoid meeting Fregley. Wow. Just wow. 
9. The list goes on. And on.
10. And on ceaselessly.

Obviously, I did not finish the book. I couldn't even remember where I had stopped and would NEVER EVER bother to find it out. Just by looking at that freaking book makes my blood boil at a freaking million degrees. I happen to like my blood as it is thankyouverymuch. I don't want it to boil over such a book.

So what can I conclude about this book? That the book is just 'unfunny'? Well, I clearly didn't like it so I wouldn't recommend it, but if you want to give it a try, I can't stop you.

But overall, I found this a crappy sh*t. No offense. As I've said before, you liked, good for you. But I didn't so there.

0/5 Stars 

Pissed off Violet

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